~~You all are so wonderful. You really, truly are. I just want to thank each one of you who commented or sent me an email. Your friendship means so much to me.
~~My struggle has mainly been with my beautiful little head-strong daughter-my 5 1/2 year old. She's everything that I wanted her to be, but I didn't really know what I was wishing for. I've always been so timid, so fearful. I struggle with my self-esteem. I'm the kind of girl with "Step on Me" written across her forehead. So, when I was pregnant with Sierra, I can very clearly remember praying that my children would be different than me. That they would be strong-willed, determined and fearless. Oh my! From now on I only pray that God will give me what I can handle, not what I think I want, lol!
~~It's not that she's a terrible child, just stubborn. She's at an age where she's feeling very independant. She's about to start Kindergarten and she's so excited about that. She feels so big. But she's also been testing me- a lot. I really think she wants to see how consistent I will be. She's so smart. She's been doing things to try and manipulate me, like whining. Or completely ignoring me when I ask her to do something. I'm already getting "But Mother!!!" with rolled eyes and hands on the hips. (She's called me Mother since she was 3 years old and heard it in a movie, lol.) I'm seeing a glimpse into my future life with teenagers and I'm a little afraid.
~~Put all of that on top of my tendancy to feel overwhelmed. My struggle with feeling like I just can't keep up with life. There's always more that needs to be done; more laundry, more cleaning, more paperwork, trying to fit in a little bit of art time, etc. And yet I want to always make sure that my priorities are in place. Make sure that I'm never too busy to just stop and play with the girls.
~~Like I said before, I think sometimes life catches up with us in order to remind us that we can't do it on our own. God is always there, waiting for me to carry my burdens to Him. That's a comfort to me. This week has already been much better. We went to the zoo today and had a wonderful time. It was just a great day.
~~Thanks again to my online friends. (((Hugs))) to you all.


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4 comments:
If you are like me, after I complete something big I usually have a down time after it. Sounds like after your fantastic run and winning second place and all the effort that you put in that might be causing some down time now. It will pass and is sometimes easier if you look at it for what it is. God will see you through one day at a time.
I have been reading along on your blog for a little while now and you seem to always hit the mark with what I am feeling too. I will say to be careful not to expect so much of youself. I was in awe of your running success. I couldn't even run around our cul-de-sac! Anyway, allow yourself some down time because it gives you an opportunity to relect and renew. And those kiddos! My daughter is not like what I expected either. But she is wonderful just the same. It can be hard but so worth it to appreciate the amazing beings that are our children for who they are.
Ann
Be nice to Kasie...she's doing a wonderful job of motherhood! Sometimes independence is a gift and a curse at the same time...JK...I'm thinking of how much I wanted my daughters to embrace the world and go for it...now that they are, I'm wondering, why did I want them to be independent? I hope the world slows down a bit for you...
P.s. You do have nice on-line friends, don't you?
If you ever want to talk, let me know...I've known a kindergartener or two or three.. :-)
Motherhood is never a certain road... you never know what's next! Chances are you'll learn from each other throughout your lives. What a blessing! :)
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